sense and sensitivity | Unemployed sister lacks motivation – Times-Standard


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Dear Harriette: My sister has been a little depressed and demotivated since she was unemployed. She lost her job at the start of the pandemic and has been living on unemployment checks ever since. She has been home for over a year and a half, mostly in her bedroom watching TV and sleeping. I’m younger than her, so she doesn’t really listen to me when I try to encourage her to come back and find a new job. She will go back to her room and close the door or ignore me when I make any suggestions. I love my sister and I want her to be happy. She absolutely has to get her life back in hand. How can I motivate her? – try to help

Dear Trying to Help: The good news right now is that there are a lot of jobs available. In fact, in various service industries there are so many vacancies that restaurants, retail stores and other service providers cannot work at full capacity because they do not have the staff. . Tell your sister that things have changed since the start of the pandemic. She might be able to find something if she looks again. Sometimes renewed motivation is enough to inspire a person who has lost self-confidence due to the loss of their job.

Another important point during this time is to think outside the box. How your sister makes a living may not be available right now, for a multitude of reasons. But it would help her get back to work if she tried to get any job, even if it’s temporary. What you can do is encourage her, tell her what you’re learning about the job market, and suggest she try again now because things are different these days.

Dear Harriette: I am almost 30 years old. Most of my friends are having serious relationships or building their careers. But a friend of mine worries me a lot. My friend’s girlfriend is way too young for him – she is 18 and he is almost 27. I find that extremely off-putting. I told him several times that their age difference was worrying. It’s time to take care of them, not go out with kids. I have a sister his age and I know this girl is too young for him. I want to make him understand this point, but he is not listening. Would it be wrong to cut her off because I don’t agree with their relationship? – Extrapolated

Dear Disgusted: Legally your friend is safe because his girlfriend is 18, but I have to agree that this age difference is significant at this point in their lives. Before you cut her off, try talking to her one more time. Remind her of your sister and how impressionable she was at that age. Point out that no matter how much fun he has with this young woman, she is at the very beginning of finding out who she is, when he should be at the point where it is time for him to get serious in her life. After that, step back. If he doesn’t rethink that relationship, you can certainly cut him off.

Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send your questions to [email protected] or c / o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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